I have watched every single game of the World Cup thus far across North America.

Not highlights. Not snippets. Not TikToks.

I've watched every single minute of every single game of the opening round of the World Cup, and I have opinions.

While there are still a slew of teams that could end up hoisting the trophy come mid-July in New Jersey, even the tiniest nations have at least a one in a billion chance of winning it all.

After watching the first round of the World Cup, I've chosen three nations that I sadly have to eliminate from World Cup contention. If they do win, I promise to fly to your country and give an in-person apology at the center of your biggest city.

Sorry, though, but that's not happening.

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South Africa

South Africa already had an uphill battle being the first game of the tournament against the home team Mexico, but they honestly couldn't have had a worst first performance. Not only did they look out of their depth from the first whistle and lose 2-0 without creating any real chance on the Mexico net, but they somehow also accrued two red cards. Although South Korea and Czechia aren't impossible mountains to climb, I have no hope for this team to make the knockout rounds, let alone win the World Cup.

Curaçao

I love the "Blue Wave" and its fans. The smallest nation to ever play at the World Cup with a little over 150,000 population, Curaçao are already winners of the tournament by getting a goal against Germany. Sure, that goal came in a match that they ended up losing 7-1, but I give them credit for playing free and going after the European giants. But yeah, they aren't winning the World Cup.

Panama

What a disastrous game against Ghana. It was the ugliest game of the first round of the World Cup, and Panama gave up the game in extra time in a contest that they probably believe they were controlling for most of it. It was the worst case scenario for Panama, who now get to play England and Croatia, two teams with far more cohesion and attacking threat than Ghana.

Source: Newsweek